I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
