Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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