Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't make out with my wife yet
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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