Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I party with great urgency now.
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