Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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