Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
