I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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