this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
