I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
