all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
