Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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