If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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