R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
