shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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