loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
