I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
