She's JV to your varsity
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
