New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
