I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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