then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
