Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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