4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize