That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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