Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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