You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you made out with another girl for some wings
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
