I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
