I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
