At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
