i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
