I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
