so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The Olympian is in my bed
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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