Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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