Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
