i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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