make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
