Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize