I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
