Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
two words...techno handjob
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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