does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
