She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
