so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
