Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
