Christians are straight up FREAKS
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
