I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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