I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
