To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Four minutes until I can fart!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
