I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
