he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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