its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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