anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
